Half blind double date with extra company
by Mjus
Summary: AU Kurenai has agreed to go on a date with Asuma under the condition that they both brought a friend in for a blind date. Iruka isn't too impressed being used like that, so when the chance arise to bring more people she takes it. Fem!Iruka OOCness


Hi guys. I know a lot of you are waiting for the monster, but I've had writer's block. This story started as a way to fight it but... it just grew and grew and GREW! This is exactly why I need to practive writing short stories. They tend to get blown out of proposition without my notice... so here's a monster of a short story.

 **WARNINGS** ; AU, genderbending, OOCness and hints at unusual pairings.

* * *

Dressing up for a date wasn't among the things Umino Iruka did regularly, but this lovely Saturday in May was apparently an exception. Earlier in the week Yuhi Kurenai, an old friend from high school, had called and told Iruka they were going on a double date in which Iruka would be blind. It was stupid really, but in reality Kurenai had agreed to go on a date with a certain man she'd been gushing about to Iruka for a while, and because she didn't want to go alone she had told her date to invite a friend and make it a double date.

The worst part was that Iruka knew the alternatives of who the blind date would be and couldn't help but wonder if Kurenai was using her friend as a convenient and escape route if the need called for it.

'Story of my life,' Iruka thought bitterly as she frowned over the Sudoku she was trying to solve on her phone. They didn't call the level "fiendish" for nothing; Iruka had been stuck for almost half an hour.

Iruka had never been a girly girl, classmates never saw her as competition for the boys even though Iruka was the only girl in her circle of friends. She'd also spent her childhood and youth in the pool, had travelled the nation for the junior swimming competitions and had a couple of boxes of prices to show for it. And growing up like that had left its marks on Iruka's body. Her shoulders were broad for a woman and her back was strong. Her waist didn't have the dip of the hour-glass shape due to the muscle build and puberty hadn't graced her with any more womanly shapes than a humble C-cup and the slightest swelling of hips. In short; from childhood to adulthood Iruka was often mistaken for a man. Her current line of work didn't help either.

Today was different. Iruka had made a valid effort to look at least remotely female; a push-up bra, a tight, deep green shirt with a low v-neck, low-cut, knee length jean shorts to leave a teasing gap between shirt and pants, a white belt and a pretty pair of low-heeled sandals to finish the picture. It had taken her an entire day of shopping to find the clothes and shoes. She'd even put on long earrings to make her neck look longer.

Sadly the tight attire did nothing to hide her swelling arms, broad shoulders, too thick tights and calves. No matter what lengths Iruka went to look pretty, she would always look like an athlete. Her only consolation was that at the very least she had nice feet.

Sighing in defeat Iruka closed the game and put her phone back in her purse.

It was vexing to say at least. Iruka and Kurenai had been really good friends in high school. The red-eyed girl had worked hard to help Iruka with her low self-confidence and taken it upon herself to seek vengeance on those who bullied Iruka or tried to use her kindness against her.

Today Kurenai wasn't even aware she and Iruka worked in the same school. For a year. The woman had completely dismissed Iruka's existence and struck her nose in the air when Iruka had tried to approach her, walking away with an air of arrogance. And the very same day she had called Iruka to complain about the new janitor trying to make a move on her.

That had been a deep cut in Iruka's heart. Sure, they hadn't actually seen each other a lot since Kurenai went on to college, Iruka being forced to spend two years working her ass off to afford college for herself. The gym teacher had been disappointed to tears when Iruka hadn't wanted to aim for a sports college, something she could have gotten a scholarship for, and continue to compete on a professional level. Sure, Iruka had loved the competitions as a child, but her coach had also been aware that his team were children and his baits to get improvements hadn't put more pressure on his wards than they had put on themselves. Professional competition was nothing but pressure and Iruka knew she couldn't live like that. Rather, her coach had taken help from her since a few years back to help teach the youngest generation how to swim, and Iruka had loved it. She didn't want to compete anymore. She wanted to teach.

Unfortunately her fate had twisted rather harshly. She had managed to earn enough to go to college, worked for a teaching licence as a grade school teacher. And then she had met Mizuki. Iruka had absolutely no clue about what had happened after that. The friends had started getting distant, the girls were whispering behind her back and the study sessions Iruka had had with her friends had suddenly included only her and Mizuki, who had been nothing but a distraction. They had had sex, but Iruka never fooled herself into thinking it meant anything to Mizuki. It was college; sex was a way to pass the time and get some stress out of the system rather than an act of love. Iruka's first love had been her coach and her first boyfriend had also been another swimmer.

But during her last four months at the college Iruka had found herself pregnant, despite protection and Mizuki had told her to get rid of it or he'd break up. Apparently he'd told the entire school that they were a couple and had threatened Iruka's other friends to stop associating with her. Funnily Iruka had been the only one left out of the loop about her relationship with Mizuki. They had had a fight that had cost Iruka both the baby and earned her a deep cut across her face that had unsurprisingly made a scar. Nobody visited her at the hospital. A week later Iruka had gotten the news that her parents had been killed in a madman's attack on a restaurant they had been at.

Iruka had only had two weeks left to her finals, and had forcefully kept it together for long enough to finish them before she broke down.

Iruka was forever grateful to her old coach. He had appeared at Iruka's graduation, having heard what happened to her parents, and Iruka couldn't tell how many days she'd spent crying in his arms. If he hadn't been there, Iruka wasn't sure what would have happened.

Job-hunting right after that had been even worse, and she had panicked. School after school turned her down and she knew she couldn't depend on her coach this time; he had a family with teenagers at home, he couldn't take her in, but with no income and no luck in the job-hunting Iruka had swiftly gotten evicted and taken up refuge in the shelters.

That's when the former swimmer had given up, on everything, and rather than a teacher, she had been hired as a janitor at Leaf High School.

She'd started calling Kurenai again after that, something she hadn't done since the whole fiasco with Mizuki had started, and the other woman had wholeheartedly welcomed their chats. It had taken a week or two before Iruka had realized she and Kurenai worked at the same school, the rest is history. Kurenai was still oblivious about Iruka's presence and whenever they met Iruka made sure to cover the scars with make-up. Kurenai strongly believed Iruka was a grade school teacher, even though the swimmer had not said anything more than that she'd gotten the licence, and after what happened between them at the school Iruka wasn't keen on correcting her old friend.

"Iru-jan?"

The woman looked up. Beside her stood Nara Shikamaru, one of the students at Leaf, staring with his mouth hanging open.

"It _is_ you, Iru-jan! You're…!" he gave her a once over, and the janitor decided to save them both the pain of his next comment.

"Dressed for a date," she supplied.

The boy closed his mouth. Shikamaru was fifteen, probably the worst slacker Iruka had ever seen, and a frequent in her little "office" at the school along with three other trouble-makers that were swiftly becoming Iruka's new loves.

"You're seeing someone?" the boy asked with dismay.

"Not really," she answered and slipped sideways on the bench, letting the younger slid down beside her. "I'm going in blind."

Shikamaru glanced over her appearance again and slouched in his seat with his hands deeply buried in his pockets. "You didn't have to go so far."

Iruka blinked, honestly baffled. "Go far how?"

The boy's head sank lower between his shoulders and appeared rather annoyed. "You look nice."

"Thank you," the janitor responded curiously. Shikamaru was, despite his reluctant approach to everything that demanded energy or a higher level of concentration, a most interesting person.

Iruka glanced up and down the street. They were sitting just outside the little shopping district a comfortable distance from an ice cream parlour slowly waking up from the dead of the winter, selling ice cream to the odd costumer but never building a line. They had a view of one of the streets with its small cafés, bookstores, small-time fashion stores, a coffee house and a stand selling hotdogs at the far corner.

"So, Shikamaru-kun, are you alone?" It didn't seem like a very Nara-like thing to do; going shopping on a Saturday without anyone forcing him to go.

The boy waved a hand in the direction of Subway off to his left. "Choji wanted a snack, Kiba and Naruto went with him."

"And you'd rather sit outside lapping up sunlight," Iruka finished with a fond smirk. "If reincarnation was a fact you were a cat in your former life."

"And you were a dolphin," the boy retorted with a smirk of his own.

"I wish," she shrugged, smiling. She might have stopped competing, but she had never stopped swimming. It was like therapy for her to stretch out in the water, feeling weightless as the water embraced her. She dreamt of getting a diving licence so she could explore the underwater world. Although that would stay a dream, it was a nice one to have and one she indulged in after training when she would just sink into the pool and float around at the bottom of it. "I might have been something less graceful than that, like an eel or a whale."

Shikamaru snorted as he tried to stifle his laugher. "No, I'm sure it was a dolphin."

"Thanks kid. You're nice," Iruka smiled and patted her younger friend on the shoulder, because he _was_ her friend. The other three too. Her very own little trouble-makers.

The teen smiled at the ground in what Iruka interpreted as delight before he schooled his features, cleared his throat and shrugged. It was part of his boyish charm in Iruka's opinion. He was in that age where he was trying to become a man but couldn't yet shred the childish mannerisms, like getting happy about praise. It was so cute.

"There you are! Really Shikamaru, did you have to wander off so far?" Kiba's voice rang out.

Iruka and Shikamaru looked up to see the brunette followed by the bright blond head of Naruto and the sturdy body of Choji.

"I found an acquaintance," Shikamaru supplied and jabbed a thumb towards Iruka.

Three pair of eyes stared at her as if they had never seen her before. "Hi boys, enjoying your weekend?" the swimmer greeted with less warmth than she normally would have, prepared for the onslaught of the much less polite Kiba and Naruto.

"Iru-jan?" Choji was the first to realize with a start.

"EH?! IRU-JAN?! THAT'S YOU?!"

The janitor rubbed her ears. "Boys, I'm _right_ beside you."

"What the hell man! Why are you so dressed up? You look like a woman!" Kiba blurted out.

Iruka tried not to take that personally. She really did. Unfortunately that was a particularly raw toe to step on.

"Unless you haven't noticed it before, Kiba, I _am_ a woman," the janitor ground out with all her bleeding dignity seeping into her voice.

Kiba faltered, along with Naruto, opening and closing his mouth as he looked for something to say that wouldn't make the situation worse.

"You look _pretty_ , Iru-jan," Naruto eventually said as he found a word that appeared to suit the sight of the woman he was so used to see in overalls, boots, gloves and cap. It still wasn't quite the right word though, because Iruka wasn't just pretty today. In Naruto's eyes she looked like a model. A real model that filled out the material of the cloths and a natural tan that was quickly darkening with the season since Iruka spent so many hours outside.

Kiba nodded earnestly in agreement with Naruto's words. " _Really_ pretty," he said, hoping to make amends.

Iruka just sighed and leaned back in her seat. "Don't sweat it," she said sorrowfully. "There is no hiding my masculinity."

She didn't see the looks the four boys trailed over her body and attire.

"Why _are_ you so dressed up, Iru-jan?" Choji asked curiously.

"I have a date."

Kiba and Naruto jerked.

"With whom?" the blond demanded and Iruka looked up in slight surprise.

"I don't know. It's a blind date."

"So it could be anyone? And you're alone?!" Kiba barked to Iruka's astonishment. "Girls should never go to blind dates alone! What if something happened and nobody knew where you were?!"

A warm feeling swelled in Iruka's chest and she smiled and stood. The four boys were growing teenagers, but Iruka was still slightly taller, and the heels helped a little. She fondly ruffled Kiba's hair.

"Thank you for worrying, Kiba."

"But he's right, Iru-jan," Naruto argued. "Is he coming soon?" he continued and looked around, glaring hotly at any man that appeared to be looking their way.

The janitor checked her watch. "They're actually quite late, but I anticipated as much."

"I'll wait with you," Shikamaru said, and it wasn't an offer.

"Me too!" Naruto and Kiba swiftly decided.

Choji looked torn and munched unhappily at his almost finished Subway sandwich.

"You really don't have to," Iruka tried to reason with them despite feeling decidedly happy they cared so much. "Aren't your parents waiting for you?"

"As if mine would care if I came home or not," Kiba spat.

The group silenced at that. Kiba had five siblings and a dozen cousins with their parents living at a kennel at the outskirts of town. He often stayed at Naruto's place to get some time alone away from the chaos at home.

Naruto was a ward of the government. His mother had died in childbirth and his father had been a big-shot politician and most unceremoniously gotten shot for it, so Naruto was the last one to complain about Kiba's company. Once they had even stayed at Iruka's, who had dutifully called Kiba's family. An uncle had answered and all he'd really said was "oh Kiba isn't here. I thought someone was missing".

Shikamaru and Choji were the only children of their parents, living like normal families. They could never understand what Kiba and Naruto felt, but had made friends anyway. Iruka however knew how it felt to be alone and dismissed.

"Call them anyway if you're really gonna hang around. You can't accuse me for not letting anyone know where I am if you're doing it yourself."

Kiba's face lit up with relief that Iruka let him stay and swiftly fished up his phone, walking a few paces away so the others wouldn't have to hear anything. Shikamaru copied the other brunette.

Naruto slid down on Shikamaru's abandoned seat and Iruka glanced at the last boy who still looked uncertain.

"What about you, Choji-kun? I'm not gonna force you to wait with me if you'd rather leave. Or did you have special plans I've ruined for you?"

The sturdy boy looked up aghast and shook his head. Then he stared at the woman for a while, contemplating what to say. Iruka definitely enjoyed the way Choji thought about what words to use before he actually opened his mouth, unlike Kiba and Naruto who blurted out whatever was on their minds. Not that she didn't love them too, but Choji's consideration was refreshing sometimes.

"Why are you going to a blind date, Iru-jan," the boy said at length, his voice squeaking at the end and he quickly snapped his mouth close.

"Yeah," Naruto picked up. "You don't need a stupid guy to do anything for you."

Whatever that was supposed to mean Iruka decided to take it as a compliment of the most typically male roundabout and indirect sort.

"It's actually pretty stupid," the janitor sighed just as Kiba returned with a bitter line to his mouth that he quickly wiped off as he caught the end of Iruka's comment.

Shikamaru walked back too as he pocketed his phone. "Dad said it is okay, but I have to call again if I won't make it back for dinner."

"I'm not planning to wait for more than another hour at the most before I go home," Iruka huffed. After Mizuki she was anything but eager for a relationship, but she had promised Kurenai, so yeah.

"What's really stupid, Iru-jan?" Kiba asked curiously.

"The reason I'm going on this date." Iruka couldn't help but sigh. "An old friend called me earlier this week. A guy had asked her out and she didn't want to go alone, so she told the guy to bring a friend and she would bring a friend and it would be a double date."

The four teens stared at her as they tried to digest the information.

"So what's really happening is that this friend of yours is using you as a shield?" Shikamaru asked.

One day Iruka was going to have a nice long chat with the boy about the art of tact. "That's a blunt way to put it, but pretty much."

"You know that and still dressed up like this?"

Iruka couldn't help the hurt glare she sent the boy as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself. He actually looked nervous.

"I've been trying to subtly tell you I'm sensitive about the subject of the way I look. Since that doesn't work; will you please just fucking drop it? I know I'm not feminine and I know I got a complex but I hate it when people can't stop pointing it out to me like I have no bloody idea."

"I-I didn't…"

" _Drop it_ ," she hissed in warning.

All four boys flinched back and pressed their lips together, eyes looking anywhere but at Iruka.

The woman sank down on the bench beside Naruto who visibly stiffened. Iruka sighed and rubbed her forehead. She felt guilty for snapping at them, but she was thoroughly fed up with herself and the idea Mizuki had planted in her head and refused to go away; that if a man ever fell for her it would be a gay man. The stress of knowing Kurenai wasn't really her friend was also eating away at her together with the rest of the shit that made up Iruka's life in general. It didn't give her the right to lose her temper, but these boys did need to learn that you couldn't just say whatever you wanted.

"When I went to school," Iruka started explaining, "I was always told I look like a boy. Being the only girl doing sports who competed nationally didn't really help. No matter how hard I tried to look like a girl and make female friends, it wouldn't work. My friends were guys, end of story. One of them even told me once I'm not a real girl. That… still really hurts."

She heard someone swallow.

"I'm sorry, Iru-jan," Shikamaru's voice mumbled sadly.

Iruka stayed quiet as she thought about it. She knew the boy was sincere, but forgiving him just like that wouldn't tell him what he'd done wrong in the first place. She'd explained why she didn't like talking about the way she looks, and Shikamaru was apologizing for doing so, but not for the other reason. "You more or less called me an idiot for dressing nice. That's not okay no matter the circumstances, Shikamaru-kun."

He looked up, mouth open to protest when he caught the look she gave him. He looked away again and awkwardly rubbed his arm. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"What if the guy's a total ass?" Naruto voiced his true concern. "What if he tries to hurt you, Iru-jan?"

"If he's an ass I'm going home," Iruka said matter-of-factly. Then she smiled gently and ruffled the soft sunshine looks of the teen beside her. "And if he tries to hurt me I have you to protect me, right?"

Naruto's blue eyes looked up with hard determination and his face, caught between the softness of a boy and the firmness of a man, set in a fierce look that was nothing but adorable. "Of course, Iru-jan. I'll protect you no matter who or what!"

"Me too, Iru-jan!" Kiba promised hotly.

The swimmer was about to burst form cuteness overload. "Thanks boys," she beamed, trying not to crack up and laugh. She was sure that wouldn't go down well. "Anybody want ice cream?"

* * *

Hatake Kakashi was anything but willing to dress up and go on a date today, not even for Asuma's sake. Still, the man had pleaded, bribed and threatened him to come because if he didn't Asuma's long-time heartthrob wouldn't have this first date with him. So Kakashi had grudgingly agreed. After all; he was a good friend, and hopefully after today Asuma would stop moaning that Kurenai never gave him a chance.

It still didn't mean Kakashi was very willing to go. Asuma had explained Kurenai was bringing a friend and that Asuma had to bring one of his to make it a proper blind date, so when the breaded teacher showed up at his door Kakashi was still wearing sweatpants.

"I beg you, Kakashi! Jeans and a shirt at least. Nothing flashy, I'm not expecting you to go home with whoever Kurenai's friend is, just don't come looking like a slob!"

"I'm not the one going on a date," the younger huffed indignantly.

"You're right. I am, but that doesn't mean you're not part of the impression," Asuma said and pushed his way inside, heading for Kakashi's bedroom.

"Kurenai knows me; we see each other every weekday."

"That's beside the point!" Asuma growled from within Kakashi's wardrobe from where he fished out a pair of dark jeans, a new pair of underwear, a black, skin-tight wife beater and dark-blue button-up cotton shirt. "Take a shower, dress and we're out."

"When did you become my mother?" Kakashi complained.

"Since you started acting like a little brat in desperate need of upbringing."

Kakashi sent his friend a scorching glare he thought was very much deserved. Sadly it had no effect on the taller man who went about pushing Kakashi into the bathroom and throw the cloths at him before closing the door.

"I'm gonna tell daddy," the younger man yelled through the door, keeping up the offended brat act Asuma had brought on him.

"You can do that after you've showered and dressed, sonny."

Damn man had to win. So half an hour later Kakashi was done and dressed and pushed out the door, only for Asuma to let him go back to fetch his phone, wallet and keychain so he could actually lock the place up.

"Thank you for doing this, Kakashi," Asuma said lightly once they sat in his car going God knows where with the white-haired teacher slouched in the passenger seat, looking every bit the rebellious and slighted teenager.

"You owe me so much for this," Kakashi growled. He hated dates, and that said everything about what he thought about blind dates. Dates were for women who wanted to be pampered and dig a hole in a guy's wallet and all you got in return was a kiss if you passed her standards, and that was on a good day. Women who wanted a date wanted a well-trained dog, not a partner.

"You could have let me take Pakkun with me," Kakashi muttered.

"From where I stood he didn't seem overly willing to move."

Pakkun, Kakashi's (normally) loyal pug, had only lifted his head from his position on the overturned Bull's chest when Asuma arrived. Kakashi had taken his two dogs on a long walk with a lot of training that morning and Bull was still snoring exhaustedly, kicking occasionally as he dreamt. Seeing Asuma, Pakkun had dropped his head and fallen back asleep, tongue hanging out.

Now Kakashi loved his dogs to death, but sometimes they just weren't very cooperative. He'd once asked Bull to chase Asuma out of his home, and the bulldog had only given him this confused look and went to the door where he sat wagging his tail. Pakkun had decided to make it worse by bringing Bull's leash over to Asuma. He was still laughing about that.

They arrived at a street lined with neat little houses and tended yards. Kakashi took his dogs through here once in a while just to annoy the ladies with their tiny spoilt Chihuahua and Papillion dogs who were convinced Bull was a wild beast out to eat their darlings. Kakashi was ready to bet a year's salary Bull was better trained than all those bitches combined. But if you were a big dog you were automatically a monster it seemed.

They stopped in front of a house with a yard overgrown with flowers of every sort except roses. Tulips in every possible colour grew closest to the house, crocuses and daisies sprouted all over the lawn and the flowerbeds were a controlled mass of green, pink, white, light blue, purple and splashes of yellow. Tufts of little blue flowers had escaped their prison in the flowerbeds and were quite merrily growing on the lawn like weed instead.

"Did you bring flowers?" Kakashi suddenly asked.

The silence spoke more than words could. "I brought you, that's good enough."

The younger smirked. Not so fast with his replies now huh? "So is it you or I who is going out with Kurenai today?"

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Watching Asuma sweat was actually rather entertaining. He had yet to get out of the car.

"Wanna take the wheel along when you knock on the door or would you rather I hold your hand?" Kakashi teased.

The older man opened the door and tried to step out, only to realize he hadn't unbuckled and hit his head. He glared at Kakashi who was not holding back his laugher but said nothing.

Asuma grumbled as he managed to get out from his car and patted his pockets, fished out his cigarettes the moment before he remembered himself and put them back with a small whimper, though if anyone asked he would deny it. Behind him he heard how Kakashi got out of the car. Good, Kurenai would most likely want to ride in the front.

Fighting his body's demand for a smoke Asuma fixed his attire and hair, made sure he really had shaved properly that morning, and rang the doorbell before he gave himself a chance to regret it. A minute later the blinds on the window beside the door parted and Asuma caught a flash of Kurenai's lovely red eyes before they were gone again. The door clicked and opened to reveal the woman dressed in a bathrobe with her hair still wet.

"I'll be done in a minute. Wait outside," she said and slammed the door in Asuma's face.

The man outside the door stood still for a moment, trying to interpret what had just happened. Slowly turning while scratching his head Asuma returned to Kakashi.

"Did she change her mind?" the white-haired man asked, and Asuma decided to take the spike of annoyance in his voice as sympathy, even though he knew for sure it wasn't.

"She told us to wait outside."

"We're not dogs, dammit."

Asuma made a noise and picked out a cig, because if he knew anything about women, it was that they took forever getting ready. Since Kurenai seemed fresh out of the shower she had to dry her hair, put it up, dress and do her make-up. Even if the woman was fast that was still bound to take more than half an hour, and that was if she'd already decided on an outfit. So Asuma had more than enough time to smoke.

"I've never seen her without make-up before," he conversantly told Kakashi who had opened the back door and taken a seat while Asuma leaned on the car's side.

* * *

Iruka checked her watch again. The hour was ticking away and she was five minutes from going on a date with the quartet of boys instead. In her opinion they were having a good time together. The ice cream had been great and Iruka and Shikamaru had gone to fetch themselves a coffee as they continued to wait. Choji had bought a few bags of chips he was now brotherly sharing with Kiba and Naruto. Iruka hoped Kurenai weren't taking them out to eat. Four o'clock was a bit early to eat in Iruka's opinion, but she wasn't sure about Kurenai and her diet. The boys around her were actually currently discussing the different diets of the girls in school and asking Iruka about it.

"The only diet I ever was on was 'eat lots of fat and protein and drink gallons of water'." Iruka shared. "Fat gives twice the energy boost as sugar which I needed for the training and competitions. Besides; I always liked berries and fruit better than candy, so I never really had to think too much about what I ate."

"When did you start to swim, Iru-jan?" Shikamaru asked curiously. "I mean, you said you've been competing since you were young, you must have been swimming for a while before that."

Iruka laughed "Mom said I started swimming in her belly. Her pregnancy was rather difficult because there was a lot of water collecting in her womb. I think dad took me baby swimming too, so yeah. Been swimming since birth."

The boys gave her big eyes.

"I _have_ to see you swim once," Kiba said with all the awe of a child.

"I train four times a week. Pick a date to bring your swimwear and I'll take you along."

"Really?!"

"Me too?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"All and any of you whenever you want. The pool's open to anyone. Bring some money though because my pass only let's me through." She checked her watch again and finished her coffee. "Well, the hour's up and I'm not waiting any longer. Let me walk you boys home."

Shikamaru sighed, but Iruka thought he looked strangely relieved, before he too tipped his cup back and downed the last of his beverage. He reached out and grabbed Iruka's empty cup and threw them in the closest bin. They were just about to walk away when a voice rang out across the street.

"Iruka-chan!"

The janitor suppressed the urge to sigh and turned to face her old friend. Kurenai was tripping as fast as she could in her high heels, dressed in a short, white dress with a black pattern under a shot, open red jacket and her purse dangling from her arm. Her hair was neatly put up with pins and her make-up was perfect. She looked like she'd used every late minute getting ready and then another half hour unable to run due to the heels.

"Kurenai-chan," Iruka greeted politely. The near two hours of wait had robbed her of any warmth her voice might have had if Kurenai had been on time, or if she wasn't currently using Iruka's friendship.

"I'm so sorry we're late, Iruka-chan. I just couldn't decide what to wear."

"You're actually right on time, Kurenai-chan. I was about to leave."

The other woman had the grace to blush. "Thank you for waiting, Iruka-chan."

"Thank your students here. I would have left a lot earlier if it wasn't for them."

Kurenai blinked and looked behind her old friend. Indeed, there stood four of the worst students in her school. She had Inuzuka Kiba and Uzumaki Naruto in the same class which was a nightmare by itself, and then there was Choji who thought with his stomach and Shikamaru who refused to pay attention, driving Kurenai up the wall.

"What are you boys doing here? Shouldn't you study?"

"What are _you_ doing here, sensei?" Kiba frowned in confusion. "Are you the friend Iru-jan's been waiting for?"

"Iru-jan?" Kurenai parroted dumbly. The boys had however just seen the two men behind Kurenai; Sarutobi Asuma the history teacher and Hatake Kakashi their math teacher. And it was rather common knowledge in school Asuma was hitting on Kurenai. There were even a few bets going on regarding them.

"So Iru-jan's blind date…" Choji drawled slowly as he connected the dots.

"Is Kakashi-sensei?" Shikamaru finished with a disgusted face.

"For real?" Naruto murmured incredulously.

Kakashi met the stares of his students with an innocent smile. "Why hello to you too, my cute students. Thank you for keeping my date company."

Four faces scowled at him, and Iruka just knew she should go home like she'd promised the boys if her date turned out to be an ass. Why the tall man had decided on a teaching career was beyond the janitor. Kakashi's favourite past time was to entertain himself at the expense of his students and according to the gossip he had never given a grade higher than C unless a student kissed his ass enough to grant his grace as a favourite. The four boys around her were not one of those students.

"So what's the plan, Kurenai-chan?" Iruka asked the other woman who in turn looked to Asuma.

"Well…" the tall man started awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head, glancing from Kurenai to her friend to the four teens who had yet to leave. It seemed to Iruka the man hadn't planned this beyond a nice outing, yet Iruka couldn't find it in herself to take pity on him. She wasn't a romantic at the best of times anyway and Kurenai deserved a bit of punishment for treating Iruka's friendship the way she was.

"How about we go bowling?" the janitor suggested and didn't wait for answers. She treaded her arms under the ones of Asuma and Kurenai and started pulling them along. "You boys coming? The more the merrier." she called over her shoulder.

The four teens, still glaring draggers at Kakashi eagerly followed. Minus Shikamaru who had to sigh and mutter something incoherent before he towed after his friends. Kakashi was last, watching curiously. He had never taken Kurenai for the type to have _that_ kind of friends. This Iruka person looked pretty much the opposite of Kurenai, from body type to sense of fashion to personality. Hell, she was even polite when she'd told Kurenai just now she'd gotten sick of waiting. That was a feat if Kakashi had ever seen one.

And then there were Naruto, Kiba, Choji and Shikamaru, a ragtag team Kakashi would love to understand but lacked the passion to actually do more than observe them in passing. Naruto and Kiba were both loudmouthed hooligans in Kakashi's book, both highly competitive and had managed to become friends despite the fact they both had leader instincts that should reject the other. Choji and Shikamaru were on the opposite end of the scale. None of them made much noise, they weren't into fighting and skipped classes to slack off. Those four boys had found each other and all the teachers were scratching their heads as to how. This team of teens now created a protective wall between Iruka and Kakashi, sending him dirty looks every once in a while as they followed the trio in the lead.

This date might turn out to be way more interesting than Kakashi had ever thought.

* * *

By the time they finally reached the bowling hall Kurenai's feet were miserable. She regretted putting on such high heels and silently cursed Iruka for always being the smart one and finding ways to look stylish and comfortable at the same time. But damn did she have to take such long strides?! For every step Iruka took Kurenai had to take two! And she was hitting it off with Asuma. Where the heck was Kakashi? And why were those four troublemakers coming? Was this the world's way of punishing her cowardice? She should have accepted Asuma's offer and just let Iruka know about it rather than force her to come. Now they were going _bowling_!

Asuma was… perplexed. Yeah, that was the word. Just where had Kurenai found this Iruka woman? She was anything but what Asuma had expected. And bowling? Who went bowling these days?

The history teacher had to take those words back as soon as they entered the bowling hall. There were people of every age around them, the youngest looking to be about three years old and pushed her ball down a ball slide to give it enough momentum to actually reach the cones. He also saw a couple that had to be seventy years plus, the lady wearing a tan skirt over spidery thin legs, bowling like champions. Glancing at their scores Asuma remembered why the younger generation should respect their elders.

Without their consent Iruka walked up to the desk and asked for two alleys. The man behind the desk told them their alleys would be free in ten minutes and wondered if they were in teams. Only then did Iruka turn to talk to them.

"Since we're four grown-ups and four teens, does it sound as fair to you as it does to me to be in two man teams with one of each?"

"How is that fair?" Kiba asked.

"The potential of the young with the experience of the elders," Iruka explained with a wide smile.

"Sounds good to me," Kakashi smiled, earning a strange look from Asuma.

The bearded teacher glanced at Kurenai. He would have liked to be on a team with her, but to be honest he was rather lost in this situation. Was it more gentlemanly to ask to be on her team and make them win or did the raven-haired woman rather enjoy challenges? There was also the little fact that Iruka's logic was solid.

"Fine," he said at length, hoping against hope he wouldn't end up regretting this day for the rest of his life.

"Great. Choji, will you be on my team?" Iruka asked eagerly, shocking the whole group.

"S-sure. I'd love to, Iru-jan," the sturdy boy stammered.

Now something really interesting happened. Asuma almost rubbed his eyes to make sure they weren't deceiving him.

Nope. As soon as Iruka turned back to the man behind the desk to register herself and Choji as a team, the boy turned to his friends with an unholy grin of glee and flicked them off. All three moved forwards with murderous intents when Iruka turned back around and they straightened.

"What about the rest of you?"

"Me and Naruto," Kakashi smiled with a pat on the blond boy's shoulder. Naruto was too surprised to protest and once he gathered his bearings Iruka had already registered them.

Oh if looks could kill. Kakashi looked disturbingly happy though. Asuma gave his old friend a questioning look which was answered with a shrug and a too innocent smile. Kakashi was up to no good.

Asuma ended up with Shikamaru who looked like he couldn't care less and Kiba with Kurenai. The man behind the desk told them where the shoe room was and to make sure the shoes fit them before going into the bowling area. He also gave the group a security run-through and where to go in case on an accident.

"Do people hurt themselves often?" Asuma asked when told the entire staff had a basic medical education. He'd never viewed bowling as a dangerous occupation before.

"Barely ever, but after this guy twisted an ankle and unhinged his arm a few months ago the protocol was updated."

"What did he try to do? Impress a girl?" Iruka asked incredulously and got an exasperated nod in reply. "Got it. I'll make sure everyone's careful." She sent a meaningful look Asuma's way.

"I appreciate your cooperation," the guy said with a sloppy salute.

The group headed towards the shoe niche, Kurenai regretfully exchanging her pretty high heels for the hideous red, blue and white excuses for shoes, but with her feet rebelling against her being thankful for getting out of their heeled prison. She kept glancing at Iruka. Her old friend was acting cold and distant. Not that you would notice if you didn't know Iruka well. The swimmer was an expert at using politeness as a weapon, whereas women normally tried a bitchy approach. Kurenai both hated and admired the method. Iruka could make people apologize to her without getting angry and it always had a more long-lasting effect. But damn did Kurenai hate being in the receiving end of it.

"Uh, Kurenai-san. Are you…?"

The raven looked up at Asuma. Just what had she been thinking? The history teacher had been flirting with her since they became colleagues two years ago, but she had never dared believe in him. She had been used too many times and even suffered through a case of molesting in high school. That's how she had become friends with Iruka in the first place. The gentle girl had found her crying in the janitor's closet after she escaped her homeroom teacher. Iruka hadn't been so gentle in defending Kurenai from the teacher in question.

"I'm fine, Asuma," she said quietly and glanced at Iruka again who, to Kurenai's surprise, was giving her a go-ahead-and-jump-him look. That's when the raven realized something; she hadn't wanted to go on this date with Asuma alone, and Iruka had made sure she wasn't. Maybe the swimmer was going to some extremes, but Kurenai got her wish. 'Careful what you wish for indeed,' she thought.

Looking back at the bearded man beside her, Kurenai almost wanted to do as Iruka said and jump him. Asuma looked so totally lost and for some reason apologetic. It was a cute look even for such a big man.

"Don't give me that look, Asuma. Come on and let's have fun."

The history teacher gave her a relieved smile and started to make a grand move to escort her, but caught himself and the move turned awkward as he realized this probably wasn't the place for that with so many teenagers looking their way.

* * *

They were half an hour into their game and Kakashi was definitely enjoying himself. He had to thank Asuma later. Not only was Iruka bending over every time she rolled an amazing view, there were also four teenage boys crushing on her all around him. Even Nara "Sleeping beauty" Shikamaru was taking part of the game. Without complaining (too much or loudly). If he wasn't in deep Kakashi would eat his shoes for breakfast.

The only downside was probably that Iruka had picked the best partner. Choji pretty much owned the game with a current record of six strikes. Three of them in a row. That certainly beat Kakashi's own three strikes and Shikamaru and Asuma's single ones. Naruto had the enthusiasm but lacked the finesse and so hit the gutter more often than not. It would probably have bothered him more if Iruka hadn't been paying him the equal amount of attention she paid to Choji. Kiba and Shikamaru would probably have performed better if they weren't constantly glancing at the janitor.

Yes, Kakashi had realized a while ago Iruka was the janitor at their school. He had known they had a female janitor and had seen her from behind a few times. Watching Iruka walk in front of him, brown hair tied in a neat, fluffy ponytail tickling a tanned, slender neck, Kakashi had made the connection, but had been surprised to realize she was Kurenai's friend. He hadn't seen them together in school. Actually he thought he'd seen Kurenai avoid the other woman on occasions.

It was Iruka's turn again, and at the same time Shikamaru picked up his ball, eyes following the janitor as he moved… and dropped the ball on his toes.

Nobody would probably have laughed quite as hard as they did had Shikamaru not let out such an odd, near cartoonish yowl. Not even Iruka could stop herself from giggling as she walked up to the poor boy jumping around, holding his foot. It was however Asuma who picked the boy up and sat him on a chair to examine the foot.

Kakashi noticed two people from the staff looking their way, ready to step in.

"Nothing broken," Asuma stated after a moment, still trying to suppress a smile. "Will make a pretty bruise though."

"What were you doing, Shikamaru-kun?" Iruka asked a tad sternly and looked over to the ball he'd used that Kurenai had picked up, checking the weight written on the side. "Your ball wasn't even that heavy."

"My hands got sweaty," the teen hissed between his teeth.

Kakashi saw a golden chance. "Maa Shikamaru-kun, checking out girls is dangerous when bowling."

The poor teen stiffened and his already dark blush spread all the way to his ears. Unfortunately though the boy was smart enough not to try to deny it. The object of his distraction turned and swept her eyes over the crowd. Kakashi very almost failed to choke the laugh that threatened to make it up his throat. He couldn't blame the woman for not understanding the boys' attraction to her, considering her age. The math teacher wasn't sure how old Iruka was but she had to be more than ten years older if she and Kurenai were the same age. Kakashi wasn't sure though. Iruka might be taller and bigger than Kurenai but she looked younger.

"Do you want to skip the rest of the game?" Iruka asked the seated boy.

Shikamaru grumbled something incoherent to himself before he stood, careful not to look at anyone. "No, I'm fine."

"If you say so," Asuma shrugged and stood too. The look he sent Kakashi told the white-haired teacher he knew what was going on too, but wasn't about to make a scene.

The rest of the game went on without any more accidents. Iruka kept an eye on Shikamaru who probably put extra effort into walking like his foot wasn't hurting as much as it was. Kakashi wondered if the boy actually thought he fooled anyone. Even Kurenai was glancing his way in concern, and then Shikamaru was one of her least favourite people. But if he wanted to play the tough guy game Kakashi would be the last to stop him. Watching the lazy bum being anything other than a slacker was rather satisfying in a sadistic kind of way. The math teacher was definitely gonna play the "Iruka" card on him in class for as long as the crush lasted.

The winning team; Iruka and Choji.

The one with the worst scores; Kurenai and Kiba. Kurenai's ball seemed to have been married to the gutter the way it kept rolling into it. Kiba hadn't been able to stop giving his ball a spin, so he always missed the front cone.

The winners' price was that they got to decide where they would go to eat next, and the losers' penalty would be to pay for the food. Kurenai's first thought was to protest. There was no way she could feed them all no matter where they chose to eat, but before she could voice her thoughts Iruka smiled at her.

"Of course, Asuma and Kakashi are also on the losing end, so the three of you will split the bill."

"What about you, Iruka-san?" Kakashi asked, and Kurenai could hear he was quite put off to be dragged into paying.

"I'll pay for the game. It was my idea after all."

That obviously had the math teacher pause, and Kurenai could almost see him mentally scratch his head wondering what just happened.

In the end he turned to the others. "Did she just say she'd pay for all of us?"

"She did," Kurenai assured with a smile. "Iruka-chan always had a strong sense of justice. If she pays the game, it's fair we pay for her food."

Kakashi nodded slowly. It was funny how he looked like the world how he knew it had tilted and changed without him realizing. Kurenai smiled at him before she started herding the teens back towards the shoe room. Asuma assisted her, but Kakashi was watching the janitor. And then he noticed a tall man with his face set in a scowl move in behind the woman and grab her shoulder.

The math teacher immediately started towards them. That guy looked anything but friendly from where Kakashi stood. But before he reached them… he stopped. Iruka's eyes had lit up and she was smiling happily at the man as if he was an old friend. The guy had however not let go of her shoulder or stopped scowling.

The guy behind the desk called for Iruka's attention and she turned back to him and drew her card. The hand that had been on her shoulder moved to her hip.

"Who's that?"

Kakashi turned to Shikamaru who had come up behind him."Old friend or her boyfriend," he answered airily.

"Iru-jan doesn't have a boyfriend," the brunette hissed.

"She could have fooled me," the teacher muttered as the janitor turned in the other man's arms and reached up to give him a proper hug, his big hands still holding her hips.

Shikamaru purposefully stepped up to them with Kakashi short on his heels. The couple was talking, the male sounding grumpy as Kakashi caught the tail of his sentence.

"Iru-jan," Shikamaru called the woman's attention.

"Oh, Shikamaru-kun, Hatake-san, this is Momochi Zabuza. He's a swimming instructor."

A light of understanding flickered across the teen's face, but it didn't stop him from glaring down at the hands still having a firm hold of Iruka's hips. Kakashi knew he was out of the loop on something.

"For grownups!" Zabuza growled furiously and turned all his attention to Iruka. "I hate the kids who try to drown themselves by thinking they can swim and jump into the deep end, but the adults are fucking worse! They're afraid they'll drown if they just dip their delicate porcelain toes in the water!"

"There, there Zab. Not everybody swam before they walked."

"Fucking morons should have. More people would survive is they knew how to swim," the man grumbled, grabbing hold of Iruka's elbows.

Those two obviously knew each other very well and Kakashi relaxed. Shikamaru however looked like he was about to snap.

"Iruka-chan?"

The others had apparently also come back. Kurenai watched Iruka's friend with nervous eyes while the boys had their eyes fixed on the hands on the janitor's body.

"Oh, I haven't changed my shoes yet!" Iruka realized, and Kakashi cast a quick glance down, seeing he hadn't either. "Well, I've paid for the game and got the scores printed for us if anyone would like them. And you, Zabuza," she said sternly as she turned to the other man, took hold of his hands and turned him around, "put your grab-hands back on Haku-san. Even if he understands he still doesn't like it, especially not if it's me."

"I'm going, I'm going," the tall man grumbled as he walked away. "See you on Tuesday."

"Definitely."

Iruka moved towards the shoe room, but Kurenai grabbed her elbow. "Who was that? He looked mean."

"Yeah, that scowl is probably permanent I'm afraid. He's had a tough life," Iruka sighed. "I'll tell you later, okay? I'm just gonna change shoes."

Kakashi followed her, which earned him a strange look from the woman.

"I saw that guy grab you with that scowl on his face and thought he was going to hurt you," the math teacher offered as an explanation.

Those brown eyes looked at him for a moment before they glanced down at his feet. Then her face slowly softened around the edges. "Oh," she voiced quietly. "What if he had?"

"I would have tried to hold him down, hopefully with the help of the staff."

"Good thing it didn't come to that," the janitor said quietly as she put the bowling shoes back in their place. "Zabuza is strong and he fights like a demon. A lot of people would be hurt if he got into a fight in here."

"How do you know him?"

The woman shrugged. "He was my first boyfriend," she said quietly without looking at Kakashi. It was obviously not a subject he was allowed to prod at, so the teacher dropped it. He might enjoy pissing off others, but he wasn't cruel. He would never intentionally hurt another person in any other place than their pride. Iruka had acted carefree and familiar with that man, but there was obviously a history that wasn't pain free.

They all had stories like that.

"But you have a date with him on Tuesday?" he asked curiously instead and stood, having changed back into his own worn in shoes.

The janitor actually laughed. She'd been doing that a lot tonight, but for some reason this sounded different. "No, no. Zabuza has this super-pretty boyfriend he can't keep his hands off. Quite literally." They made it back to the rest of the group and headed for the exit as Iruka continued her conversation with Kakashi. "No, I'm assisting him in instructing his swim classes. Zab wasn't joking when he said kids are reckless and adults nervous. It's been a rule for years that two instructors always have to be present in case of an accident. One has to deal with the problem and the other has to make sure the rest of the class keeps calm and out of the way."

Kakashi nodded. He'd never taken actual classes. His parents used to take him to the lake close to where he used to live and taught him to swim there. Iruka though appeared to be a city girl. Pity. Kakashi enjoyed the nature, lakes and seas rather than indoor pools.

"You actually have swimming classes for grown-ups?" Naruto asked from Iruka's other side, sounding rather baffled as they followed Choji's eager lead towards his favourite restaurant.

They were walking again, Kurenai falling behind in her high heels. Asuma though loyally adjusted his pace to one she could keep up with, and funnily, so did Kiba. The brunette teen looked a little torn though, as if he wanted to stay with Naruto and Iruka but worried about Kurenai. Shikamaru was ahead of the group with Choji.

"Don't worry kid," Asuma assured Kiba when the boy once again tried to pick up his pace, realized he was leaving him and Kurenai behind and slowed down again. "It's no fun for you to be left with us when your friends are right there."

"You sure?" the boy asked, glancing at Kurenai.

"Go ahead," the female teacher smiled gently.

Kiba had obviously won a couple of points in Kurenai's favour Asuma thought as the boy smiled gratefully and ran up beside Naruto, falling into step with him, Iruka and Kakashi rather than try to grab the blond teen in a head-lock like he always did in school. Asuma made a sound somewhere between curiosity and understanding. The brunette teen acted a lot different outside of school. He was quieter, less aggressive and had managed to connect a little with Kurenai. He was a surprisingly sweet boy once you stepped out of a position where you tried to control him.

Not only Kiba. Naruto was also a lot more behaved than Asuma was used to, but he dared a guess as to why that was. Kurenai's friend acted in a way Asuma thought an older sister would.

"She's interesting, is that what you're thinking?"

"Huh?" Asuma turned to look at the slightly lowered head of the woman beside him.

"You can't keep your eyes off Iruka-chan," Kurenai said quietly, bitterly.

A lot of feelings fought for dominance in Asuma's heart. To him it sounded so much like Kurenai was actually jealous Asuma's attention was drawn to another woman. It made him warm and happy and hopeful and nervous and frightened all at the same time. Women in general were incredibly fickle, becoming walking time-bombs once you got them to an edge where they balanced between their emotions where rage was most prominent to happen, and Asuma had yet to understand just what triggered the reaction in women.

The history teacher crossed his fingers, sent a prayer he'd choose the right words once he opened his mouth.

"I was actually thinking of Kiba and Naruto."

Those red eyes looked up at him. So far no rage.

"Yes, they are quite a bit calmer than we're used to, don't you think?" he elaborated. "I find it interesting, seeing them in a different environment. I actually remember a guy in my grade school. He was the school jerk, but outside school he was a sweetheart. Makes me wonder what kind of place school really is in everyone's life."

Kurenai nodded slowly, a thoughtful look in her eye as she looked at the boys laughing at something Iruka had just said. Even Kakashi's shoulders shook a little.

"It's Iruka-chan," the raven muttered sadly and shrank into herself a little. "She was always this strong confident persona, and I envied her. Wished I could be like her, even though she was younger."

Asuma looked curiously at her. "She's younger than you?"

"Three years."

"Oh." Asuma gave Iruka's back a thoughtful look. "Either she looks old or you look younger than your age."

His thoughts froze as the phrase didn't sound quite as complimentary as it had in his head. But Kurenai snorted and a smile played at the corners of her lips.

"We were on the track team," she shared. "Iruka-chan wasn't the fastest, but she had more stamina than all of us together. Guess swimmers need it in order to push themselves with limited access to air."

Asuma just nodded, careful not to show interest in Iruka despite Kurenai sounding like she wanted just that. In all honesty he wasn't interested, and his brother had once said that if a woman was talking about another woman, she didn't want you to be interested in that woman no matter what she said. Neither Asuma nor his brother knew exactly how that worked or why it was, but they chalked it up as female logic. Every man knew female and male logic didn't work the same way.

"And then one day she came to me asking for advice on how to be girly. That was the first time I realized how deep her boyishness went. Both her parents are fire-fighters you know? Poor girl never had a lady-like woman in her life."

The history teacher nodded and then caught Kurenai's expectant look. She was waiting for a response he realized and faltered as he tried to recall something she'd said. He hadn't been listening too keenly, and in his opinion Iruka could be anything she wanted, Asuma just didn't care. She was an interesting character, sure, but not appealing to him. That certainly didn't mean he was eager to insult Kurenai's friend, knowing just where that would take him, so Asuma was grabbling for straws.

"You're turned on by fire-fighters?"

Okay; _wrong_ choice of words. Kurenai actually looked like she was about to bite his head off.

"For your sake I hope you're not trying to sneak away and leave me with the bill?"

The sound of Kakashi's warning drawl diverted the raven woman's attention from Asuma who felt the strongest urge to pull out a smoke to calm his frayed nerves.

They had stopped before a barbeque restaurant. Kurenai sneaked a peak at the menu and was happy to note it wasn't the most expensive place they could have gone to. Even happier was she to see it was an all-you-can-eat buffet and the price was agreeable, even if she had to pay for two.

"Sorry, Kakashi-san, we were so into our conversation," Kurenai smiled and entered, not bothering to look at Asuma.

The math teacher glanced curiously at his friend who swiftly fished out his cigarettes and lit one.

"I take it this date isn't going so well?" the younger asked carefully.

"It's a complete disaster, and I'm not even sure it's my fault."

"If you want my honest opinion, the fault is Kurenai-san's," Kakashi offered and stayed outside with his friend, offering silent and much-needed and appreciated support. "Iruka-san already ordered buffet tickets for all of us, so you can just help yourself once you come inside."

"Nice of her. But pray tell, why is it Kurenai's fault this date is going to hell?"

"She's the one who forced Iruka-san to come along."

Point taken. Asuma leaned against the wall a respectable distance from the restaurant's entrance, so not to annoy its customers with his smoking, and leaned his head back with a groan. "Thank you for coming, Kakashi," he mumbled sorrowfully.

Kakashi said nothing as he leaned against the wall beside his friend.

* * *

Choji was currently a very happy camper. He liked Iru-jan, she was nice, but being friends with Naruto and Kiba Choji often felt overshadowed. Shikamaru didn't actively search for attention but he was still good at attracting it. Choji was just the unattractive third wheel in most situations. His opinion mattered little to others except for Shikamaru, who thankfully would sometimes pass that opinion along because people simply listened to him rather than Choji. But tonight Iruka had asked _him_ to be on her team rather than any of the others and he had won for her. Now to repay him Iruka had let him decide where to eat and they were seated in his favourite food-place, him at the end of honour, and he was content to let Iru-jan's attention shift away from him. Iru-jan was currently squeezed in between Shikamaru and Naruto on the long bench against the wall with Kiba on Naruto's other side. It left the chairs free for the other adults once they decided to grace them with their presence.

The sturdy boy listened curiously to the conversation being carried around the table, mostly concerning gossip about the other teachers at their school. The topic swiftly directed elsewhere when Kurenai-sensei sat down opposite of Shikamaru and Iruka, a respectable distance away from Choji as to not crowd his personal circle.

Choji really couldn't understand how Iru-jan could be friends with Kurenai-sensei. Kurenai-sensei wasn't nice and supportive like Iru-jan. She was prejudiced, demanding and lacked patience for the unruly students whereas Iru-jan seemed to have an unending supply of it.

Iru-jan would have made a way better teacher.

The Akamichi happily joined the conversation when it turned to food and cooking. It would be a cold day in hell when Shikamaru willingly cooked food, but Iru-jan and surprisingly Naruto was very interested in Choji's little tips about how to get certain results on fried rice or noodles. Kiba listened mostly because it was about food and he liked to eat. Wherever he stowed the food though Choji would love to know because the two of them ate almost as much but Kiba's body didn't show it. Choji knew for a fact that Naruto didn't eat properly simply because his budget didn't allow him many luxuries in any area so his lanky body was understandable. He'd mentioned that detail; that he wasn't confident about his larger body, to Iru-jan. She'd completely won him over when she looked at him as if she'd only just noticed his bulk. She'd told him a person wasn't fat until they considered themselves to be so, and that as long as Choji felt healthy and wasn't suffering any pains of overweight, nobody had a right to tell him he ate too much.

So yeah, Choji liked Iru-jan a lot. But Shikamaru was in love with her, and with the results of the day, Choji was happy to let him have her for now. He certainly looked uncomfortably comfortable being pressed close against the woman's side. She, Kiba and Naruto looked happy being cramped the way they were, but Choji believed it was a matter of preferences; Kiba and Naruto craved human contact and Iru-jan liked to be available that way.

Asuma-sensei and Kakashi-sensei joined them eventually, the former smelling of cigarettes.

"You boys digging in with a vengeance I see," the history teacher greeted them with a smile that looked strained to Choji.

When Kurenai didn't even bother to look up from her plate the sturdy boy knew why. He wasn't the type to bother with an opinion on who fell in love with whom, but he did spare Asuma-sensei some sympathy. For the life of him he couldn't understand why Kurenai-sensei was so hard set on being difficult when she liked the man back. He'd heard some of the girls in class talk about how they needed to dominance their relationships or the guys would run them over, but being a guy himself Choji found that sort of reasoning highly insulting. A relationship was a give and take, no matter what type it was. If you only took and never gave anything back, the relationship would eventually fall apart.

"This stuff is pretty damn good," Naruto grinned back at the history teacher. "I don't get to eat meat very often, so I'm gonna stuff my face until I burst open."

"Please don't," Kakashi-sensei sighed. "What would the staff here say about having to clean up your intensities?"

Naruto's eyes widened comically and both Iruka and Kiba broke down in giggles.

"In a worst case scenario they'd use the meat for the buffet," Asuma said seriously.

All the boys groaned in disgust but at the same time had enough humour in them to laugh at the macabre joke. Kurenai didn't appreciate the disturbing suggestion quite as much as she had just put a piece of meat in her mouth. She discreetly spit it out in her napkin and caught Iruka's eye.

Iruka, Kurenai noticed, was not happy with her. The swimmer lifted her glass, using it to disguise their silent exchange and flickered those brown orbs towards Asuma. The female teacher glanced away in shame. This date was a disaster, it Kurenai knew it was her own fault. Iruka was giving her exactly what she had wanted and at the same time had provided enough space for her to be with Asuma, and all Kurenai did was waste her time.

"So Iruka-chan," she spoke clearly, adamant to stop those accusing brown eyes from telling her what she already knew. "How's work at your school? It must be hard with a room full of restless children."

To Kurenai's absolute surprise, five pairs of eyes turned to stare at her. Iruka herself had looked away, red spreading over her cheeks under the make-up.

Iruka had known as surely as she knew her own name Kurenai would ask that question sometime during the night and had thought she'd prepared herself for it. The way her heart jumped and how shame burned her face, she clearly wasn't as prepared as she'd thought.

Asuma glanced at Kakashi who clearly knew what had just happened. The math-teacher glanced back at him with a confused frown.

"What room full of children?" Naruto asked, utterly confused, looking towards Iruka.

"What's this, Iruka-chan?" Kurenai was blinking rapidly. "Haven't you told these boys you're a grade school teacher?"

The teens stared at their teacher as if she'd just grown an extra head.

"About that," Iruka muttered as loudly as she could through her reluctance to speak. "I told you I got the teaching license; I never said I actually scored a job."

Shikamaru was looking between the two women. "Kurenai-sensei, don't you know?"

"Know what?"

Iruka's face couldn't possibly be hotter and most of all she wanted to run. She could predict Kurenai's reaction quite accurately, and considering how this day was turning out for her old friend, she didn't want to add this to the pile.

"Let me clue you in, Kurenai-san," Kakashi spoke carefully, pulling all eyes towards himself. "Iru-jan is short for 'Iruka the janitor'."

Kurenai's face went blank, and pale, as she stared at the white-haired man.

"You really didn't know, Kurenai-sensei?" Choji asked, honestly baffled. "Iru-jan works at _our_ school."

"We have a female janitor?" Asuma asked Kakashi quietly, who nodded with small movements.

"B-but…" Kurenai stuttered, turning wide, panicked eyes towards her friend. "Our janitor has a…"

Iruka growled irritably and picked up her napkin, rubbing it furiously over her nose and the skin under her eyes, removing the make-up and revealing the ugly scar. She couldn't look up and face the looks. They boys had seen the scar and she'd refused to tell them how she got it.

Kurenai fled the table, rushing towards the toilets.

Asuma made a move to follow her, but hesitated.

Iruka heaved a deep, tired sigh. "Sit down, Asuma-san. I'll go see if I can talk some sense into her. After all," she gave him a lopsided smile, "she always was a sensible girl right?"

"Sensible," Asuma agreed and sank heavily into his seat. "But wilful and erratic."

"Hey, that's part of being a woman. Better get used to it," Iruka joked half-heartedly and left the table.

Kiba turned to Kakashi. "What just happened?"

"Women, that's what happened," the teacher sighed. "They'll be back in fifteen to thirty minutes with red eyes and act as if nothing's wrong."

* * *

The restaurant had a big restroom with mirrors and sinks on one wall and toilet stalls on the opposite side. It wasn't rush-hour, so only one stall was locked, giving Kurenai's hiding place away. Iruka steeled herself. She knew Kurenai wouldn't want to talk, and this was definitely not a place Iruka wanted to have this talk either, but postponing the confrontation wouldn't change anything, and for the love of everything shiny Kurenai needed to get her act together and decide if she wanted Asuma-san or not. The poor man had looked as close to tears as a man like him could get when he joined them at the table earlier. Iruka did owe him an apology for how this day had turned out.

Iruka leaned against the sink in front of the locked stall and crossed her arms.

"Kurenai-chan, I'd rather you come out and talk to me out here. This is a public toilet after all."

No response.

"Your choice. I'm not gonna spill my heart here and tell you why I never said anything or how I got this scar. You owe me to listen though, if you really are my friend."

A pitiful sob and a whine sounded from the locked stall.

"That's a great man you've managed to score," Iruka continued, hoping the envy and jealousy wasn't leaking into her voice. Not because she wanted Asuma-sensei, but because he was the kind of good man few women had the luck to find. "He's put up with me and the boys despite wishing he could have today alone with you."

"He likes you," Kurenai sniffed pathetically.

Iruka scoffed loudly. "You should get both your eyes and your head examined. From the start he's stayed close to your side, and I mean that as in physically standing close to you. But you're so full of yourself and too blind by insecurity you can't see past your own assumptions." And if by now Iruka was growing she didn't care. "You and I can sort out or issues at a later date, but today you have a date with Asuma-san, who is loyally waiting for you back at the table despite believing he's lost you. If that doesn't tell you something, you don't deserve to be loved by someone like him."

The stall door finally flew open and Kurenai stood there, tears staining her face in lines of ruined make-up as she glared with a mix of fury and despair. Iruka's cold glare stopped whatever the raven-haired woman had wanted to say.

"This," Iruka stressed and tapped her scar, "is the result of me having a relationship with an abusive asshole. I've seen enough of Asuma-san to know for sure he won't do that to you, or anyone. Being in the kind of relationships I have I've learnt to read the signs, thus I know what I'm talking about. You still want to argue?"

"Why?" Kurenai whined. "I don't get you. How can you… encourage me… and accuse me at the same time?"

"I guess that teaching licence I have to my name actually means something, even though I couldn't find a school that wanted to hire a woman who doesn't look like the ideal schoolteacher. And Asuma-san is a good man, if I can make you see that much at least, it will be my apology to him for having a stupid friend like you. If not, I'll just have to put that apology in words."

The door opened and a plump woman took a step inside before startling, curious eyes looking between the two already in the room. "Is there a problem?" she asked, eyes alight with curiosity and shallow concern.

"Please don't mind us, ma'am," Iruka smiled pleasantly and turned back to Kurenai. "I'm heading back to the boys. Join us or go home. Just don't forget to pay for yourself." And with that she left.

* * *

Shikamaru ate slowly and tried not to look towards where Iruka had disappeared. The table had gone quiet without her, as if she was the leading voice and everyone was lost when she left. Everybody ate, chewing mechanically, and throwing glanced towards the toilets. Asuma-sensei was the most obvious about that since the toilets were located behind him and he had to turn his head every time. Shikamaru could see how his history teacher was rather saddened and how Kakashi-sensei threw worried looks at him.

"Women are troublesome," he sighed suddenly, and realized too late he'd spoken out loud. To his relief the others only nodded in agreement though.

"Can't live with them, and can't live without them," Asuma muttered sourly.

"Let's drink to that," Kakashi-sensei and lifted his glass. "Cheers boys, good luck when your little crushes grow teeth."

"What? What teeth?" Naruto and Kiba asked worriedly.

"He means 'when you end up with a girlfriend," Shikamaru supplied. "My dad uses that phrase too," he explained to the math teacher's questioning look.

"Oh yeah, your mother hold him in a short leach," Asuma mused.

Shikamaru's father, Nara Shikaku, was a quiet man. He enjoyed observing people rather than engage in conversations with them. Nara Yoshino however was his exact opposite. Asuma could fully understand why Shikaku would say a woman had teeth, because Yoshino had definitely sunk hers into him and refused to let go. That's just how quiet men got married he supposed.

Naruto straightened beside Shikamaru, who immediately looked up to find Iruka heading back towards them, alone, and with an annoyed frown on her brow.

"What happened to Kurenai-sensei?" Kiba was first to ask when the janitor came close enough.

"She needs to wash her face and reapply her make-up," the woman said shortly and Shikamaru got out of his seat to let her in between him and Naruto again.

"Kakashi-sensei's prediction was totally off," Naruto stated with a smirk. "He said you'd come back looking like you'd been crying."

"Then Kakashi-sensei forgot to add my personality in his equation. Some math teacher you are," the woman smirked at the man in question.

"I'm starting to doubt you're a real woman," he shot back.

One of Iruka's hands clamped down painfully on Shikamaru's thigh while the other shot up to cover Naruto's mouth when she felt them tense up and getting ready to defend her. There were good and bad times for that kind of behaviour.

"Then you haven't met many types of women," she said quickly. "Or do you only associate with the proper girls?"

The man measured her with his gaze, acutely aware he'd stepped over a line. "I might need to travel more. Though as of right now I'm of the opinion you're unique."

Shikamaru frowned, for a second contemplating to voice how lame compliments like that sounded, and was shocked when Iru-jan smiled slightly. Her hand left his thigh and he was both disappointed and glad for it. Disappointed because he liked her hands on him, glad because he was currently sporting an erection and there were too many people around. He'd never thought fingers digging into his inner thigh could feel so arousing.

He squirmed slightly in his seat, trying to be comfortable despite the tension.

"You might want to see Italy," Iruka smirked at the math teacher. "They have a lot of interesting women."

"Have you competed in Italy?" Kiba asked incredulously. "I thought you only competed nationally."

"I did, but the team went to Italy on a board trip once, and nothing could keep us away from the pool or the Italian girls' team. Their coach almost died when she met ours. She'd apparently never met a guy who trained the female team."

Kakashi listened curiously. Naruto had eagerly informed him earlier that Iruka had competed in swimming nationally as a kid. He had competed in martial arts himself, but never outside of the school competitions. Iruka herself hadn't bragged about it as much as shared a couple of pretty good stories, which said a lot about her personality. He hadn't lied earlier; Iruka was sort of unique. She paid for herself, took charge where normal women liked to be taken care of, and she hadn't voiced a single complaint about anything.

The way she spoke of her coach was also interesting. He couldn't help himself.

"Were you in love with your coach?" he asked innocently.

"Yes."

Everyone looked up with surprise at that unashamed confession, Kakashi certainly hadn't expected that.

Iruka leaned back with a dreamy sigh. "Anyone who looks that good naked is bound to appear in a number of wet dreams. I think all of us had at least one a month starring him."

"Well, you're not shy to admit a guy looks good naked," Kakashi commented with a leer and enjoyed the flushes on the teenagers' faces.

The woman laughed heartedly. "Swimming isn't exactly a dressed occupation. Not being a prude comes in handy sometimes. Guys have always and will always try to peek into or invade the girls' dressing room. The best way to chase them out is to get in their faces. Naked."

By now the teenagers around the table looked like tomatoes. No doubt Shikamaru wasn't the only one with an erection anymore. From the discreet glance Iruka cast around herself before she picked up her fork to eat as if nothing was amiss Kakashi could tell she also took perverse enjoyment in the boys' reactions. Kakashi smirked widely and decided he did like Iruka. This was definitely a conversation he'd have with her again.

"Are you telling your nude stories again?"

Everybody looked up at Kurenai's exasperated voice. Iruka smiled innocently up at her.

"Me? Nude stories? Is that what you think of me?"

"I seem to remember quite clearly how you walked into the guys' locker room and walked out the only one unfazed."

"That wasn't exactly my fault."

"I know, and I think that novice gym teacher changed career after that," the raven haired teacher sighed and sat down, moving her chair just a little bit closer to Asuma in the most discreet show of pulling in her chair.

The history teacher instantly looked up, surprise and a sliver of hope in his eyes. He'd been slumped over his plate and barely listened to the conversation going on.

Iruka suddenly smirked deviously and way too widely. "I just told the boys the best way of chasing them out of the dressing room, which reminds me…"

Kurenai sat straight, face swiftly turning scarlet and she tried to swallow fast enough to stop what she _knew_ was coming.

"You were the class expert in that field."

Kakashi almost fell out of his chair. He couldn't imagine Kurenai pushing her assets into a guy's face for a laugh. Asuma's eyes had slid straight down to those assets, mouth slack.

"Iruka-chan!" Kurenai wailed unhappily. "That's embarrassing!"

"Why? Your body worked a lot better than mine ever did."

"Kurenai-sensei…?" Kiba asked with a small voice and looking more disturbed than embarrassed. As did the other three.

Iruka smiled at her old friend, knowing full well she'd just discouraged any peeking on girls changing. Not because Kurenai wasn't beautiful, but because she was their teacher, and that was disturbing for most students to think of.

"The only reason it worked was because you stood behind me flexing those muscles of yours."

Iruka giggled. "Between your firm bombs and my arms, I doubt they even saw me before their noses exploded and they bolted."

Kurenai couldn't help but crack a smile. It had been good times, and it had helped her confidence a lot back then. Iruka and her simple matter-of-fact philosophy that if you're not dressed you're naked and you don't look any different because of it had helped more than a few girls' self esteem, without Iruka knowing about it. She decided to go along with the swimmer's game. After all, she knew what was going on.

"They are still nice and firm."

"I'm too far away to confirm it." Iruka turned to Asuma. "Would you do me the favour?"

Choji actually choked. Kakashi could no longer stand it. He threw his head back laughing like a maniac. Asuma goggled at the brunette like she'd lost her mind. So did the teens.

"Come now, let's cut the boys some slack," Kurenai smiled calmly, as if Iruka just hadn't asked the man beside her to grab her boobs. "After all, beside Kakashi-san, they are all kind of shy."

Iruka just laughed and refrained from saying anything. Kakashi was laughing too hard to hear the comment about him.

Shikamaru frowned and put the last piece of meat in his mouth. His insistent erection from before had mostly subsided thanks to Iru-jan's talking about Kurenai-sensei's body. And he definitely didn't want to see Asuma-sensei grope her. How could Kakashi-sensei even find that remotely funny. He was still snorting and shaking with laugher as he tried to control it.

"Thank you for the food," Iru-jan said and licked her lips.

"Me too," Asuma sighed and scoped up the last of his food.

Kiba finished his drink and looked at Naruto who still had half a plate left.

"Hey, don't rush. None of us is in a hurry anywhere," Iruka scolded gently. "I mean, Kurenai is still on her first plate and she's going for seconds."

"I am?"

"Of course," the swimmer shrugged as if it was obvious. "What's the point of a buffet if you won't have seconds?"

The raven looked around. "All of you had seconds?"

"I'm on my third," Naruto shared around a mouthful.

"I ate three servings too," Kiba nodded and looking into his empty glass. "I'm gonna fetch myself another drink."

"Hey, fill up my glass too please? Lemon water." Iruka quickly held out her glass which Kiba happily took.

Choji didn't have to say how much he'd eaten.

"Okay fine, I'll grab some seconds," Kurenai sighed in resignation, much to Shikamaru and Asuma's disbelief.

"That's the spirit," Iruka laughed.

As soon as the raven was out of hearing the history teacher leaned over the table. "Hey! Why the heck would you ask me to…?"

"Cup her breasts?" the brunette finished easily and gave him a meaningful look.

For a moment Asuma just stared at the woman. She couldn't be serious. But… Kurenai hadn't reacted… at all. She'd called him shy along with the teens. In any other situation Asuma would have thought a woman whose body was at risk of being touched without her permission would shield herself.

He leaned back as Kiba returned and Iruka thanked for the refill.

Kurenai returned too and dug into her serving with gusto. "Hey, Iruka-chan. Did you try these ribs?"

"I think half of all I ate was ribs," the brunette laughed.

"I liked the beef better," Naruto happily shared and the conversation easily flowed from there.

Kakashi had finally calmed down and was finishing up his food, but with a wide smile on his face, shooting looks at a perplexed looking Asuma who in turn was of course glancing at the woman at his side. He caught Kakashi's leer and went to scope up food only to realize he had nothing left. Kakashi chuckled.

"You want more too?"

"No, I'm good," Asuma sighed. He really was stuffed.

He was brought into the conversation by Kurenai, and the history teacher quickly decided to count his blessings and have this time with her. Besides, the Iruka woman wasn't a horrible person. Brassy, bold and with a bite to her, but not a bad person. Actually, Asuma had a feeling she was the kind of person one could lean on when troubled. It would probably take one hell of a man to date a woman that strong. Well, Asuma wasn't that man, and neither was either of the teens by her sides. They'd grow out of it eventually.

About half an hour later they stood on the street outside, three of them a bit lighter in the wallet than they would have liked.

"I don't know about you, but I'm gonna retire for today," Iruka said and stretched. "What about you boys? Want me to walk you home?"

"We're fine, Iru-jan," Shikamaru said evenly. "We're all going to my place and that's in the opposite direction from where you live.

Iruka hadn't heard of any such plans, and judging from the looks on Naruto and Kiba's faces, neither had they. They looked so much like hopeful puppies though that the swimmer wasn't going to call the brunette boy on it.

"Okay then. Take care of each other."

"Sure thing, Iru-jan," Naruto beamed, bouncing a bit where he stood.

"Good night then boys," Kurenai smiled widely at them before she linked her arm with Asuma's. "This man still has a firmness to confirm, so we'll be on our way."

"Have fun with that!" Iruka waved them off as her old friend turned to leave with a shocked stupid history teacher. "And don't forget to tell me about it, Asuma-sensei!" she sang after them.

Kakashi stood beside the teens, eyes just as wide as theirs. "She grew teeth," he stated.

The boys made an agreeing sound and Kiba formed one hand like claws. "Like this." He pretended to grab something with the claws and hold on tight.

"What's that? Who grew teeth?" Iruka frowned in confusion.

"I take back what I said before, Iruka-san; you are a real woman," Kakashi smiled a little too widely.

"That didn't sound like a compliment," the woman deadpanned.

"It wasn't, and we men need to keep a few secrets too."

The janitor just lifted an unimpressed eyebrow.

"Hey, Shikamaru! That's our bus!" Choji suddenly called and pointed up the road.

"What a drag! Come on Naruto, Kiba. See you in school Iru-jan!"

Iruka waved after the boys as they ran to catch the bus. Kiba was the fastest, waving his arms and pushing until he physically caught the bus to keep it from leaving.

"I hope he doesn't throw up," Kakashi commented idly. "Hey, will they tell the rest of the school about today? About Asuma and Kurenai-san I mean."

"No," Iruka stated calmly as she watched the boys board the bus. The way it slid back into traffic told her they lucked out and got a patient bus driver. Good for them.

"You sound sure."

"Because I am. Choji is considerate and Shikamaru isn't talkative. Kiba's home environment makes him rather… indifferent I guess, to other people's sexual activities and Naruto isn't into gossip."

The math teacher studied Iruka for a moment. "You mean Kiba's parents are having sex when he's home?"

"You don't know? Kiba lives at the Inuzuka kennel with his whole family, older siblings and cousins and such."

"Ah." That did make sense. The Inuzukas were known for being as much dogs as the animals they bred.

"Well, thank you for today Kakashi-san. I had fun," Iruka smiled.

"Me too," the teacher said and turned to leave, only for Iruka to move in the same direction. She actually looked just as surprised as Kakashi did.

"I live this way," the janitor said hesitatingly for the first time today.

"Coincidence? Maple Street."

"Pine."

"You live only two streets away from me?" Kakashi blinked.

"Apparently. So we might as well walk together then?"

The tall man shrugged and started walking with Iruka beside him. "I never saw you. You don't spend a lot of time outside?"

"Well, I never found running and taking walks that much fun if I'm alone, so I spend more time in the swimming baths or the gym."

"Never found anyone to take walks with?"

"I had a dog and my team as a kid. Things changed when I lost them."

Kakashi nodded in understanding. He knew exactly what the woman was talking about.

"I have a pug and an overgrown English bulldog."

Iruka actually snorted and held back a laugh. "You go for the wrinkly dogs? I had a greyhound."

"There's nothing wrong with the wrinkly dogs. Actually you bond a lot easier with the wrinkly types because you have to clean their faces every day to keep them healthy."

This time the woman did laugh. "You mean they aren't as cuddly as you'd like and use cleaning their faces as an excuse?"

"They are cuddly enough," Kakashi grumbled. "Greyhounds aren't, they're competitive."

"You've never even met a greyhound then," Iruka stated. "They are couch potatoes and fail to understand they're too big to be lapdogs. Mei used to lie all over my dad and she slept on her back, paws in the air."

Kakashi smiled and they continued to share dog-stories, like when a boy had tried to prove his bravery to his friends by approaching Bull, only for the dog to let out a loud fart. The boy had run from the smell. Iruka shared that a neighbour had had a Rottweiler her greyhound Mei had loved to tease and run away from. The Rottweiler usually came home dragging his heavy paws and panting exhaustedly while Mei tripped ahead of him wagging her tail. The Rottweiler then went to the family's cat for comfort.

They were nearing the street where they would have to part and Kakashi found he didn't want to just yet.

"Will you let me meet with them some time? Your dogs?" Iruka asked quietly.

The math teacher thought about the day. He had started off reluctant and dreading the date. He had gone in knowing he would hate it and stay as far away from whatever woman Kurenai would bring. Now that woman was walking right beside him, and he wasn't deaf to the question she had really asked.

"I need to take them out as soon as I get home. I can pick you up at your house and we'll go for a walk."

Iruka looked up at him, surprise colouring her features before it split in a wide smile. "I'd love that."


End file.
